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  • emerson81304

Rationalizations and Explanations

Updated: Sep 3, 2022

Creating a blog is harder than it used to be. I am a Gen X to give an age range. You used to be able to just write, now I need a website for the blog and then you need apps and plugins and shit. So much shit. Well onward says the brain so onward we go.

I am first and foremost an artist, a creative soul. I am a photographer, acrylic painter, watercolorist, mixed media attempter, baby knitter, mask maker (hi Covid, how are ya?), collector of weird shit, and apparently a writer. Why yes, that is in fact an Oxford comma - Gen X as in old. I am a content creator or but not a lifestyle guru. Case in point, when I search for recipes, I want recipes. Not your life story Karen or Tiffany or Heather or whatever the trendy name of the day is. When I want a life story I read a blog (haha) or a book or a short story. In case you need to hear it - I am a bitch, yes my pronouns are she/her/hers, and I am not afraid of the term. In today’s society, being a bitch means standing up for yourself, refusing abuse, demanding accountability, and saying my voice deserves to be heard. It does. Asking for basic respect is considered being a bitch. As a friend has said to me and I have heard others say - Do no harm, but take no shit.

I don’t know how much beyond this post, about my physical art I will discuss. It’s kind of my emotional reset valve, which is one of the points of the blog. Being an artist defines me. It has shaped me. It has saved me. I sometimes photograph nature if the mood strikes. I mainly shoot with models, mainly black and white images, and mainly unpaid. I show in galleries, I also sell my work in those galleries. My photography serves my instant gratification need and my perfectionist need. Set the scene, instruct to model on pose, squeeze that shutter release, and the image appears. I post-process digital into b&w, manipulate as I desire and hit save. Constant work with constant change. It feeds parts of me. The transitory instance of it and the permanence of it. I am an abstract painter - both acrylic and watercolor. When I’ve tried painting or drawing the human form- they look like Picasso took a hit of acid and fell down on the canvas. It’s a fucking disaster. However, abstract painting. Emotions swirl, I mix and swipe, I slash and blur, it’s a catharsis. The storm that was once threatening is calmed. I sometimes add collage elements, which is why I claim to attempt mixed media. I’ve done art installations and large pieces that will use photography and odds and ends to say what I want to say.

I started knitting last year, because I am stuck at home being a responsible human, and it creates something tangible and usable. While I can knit and purl, I can’t make complex items. Hats, scarves, blankets, sure. They are rectangles or circles. No sweaters, mittens, or cardi’s. I am attempting a shawl on my needles currently. Youtube has been great for learning to knit- for me. I can watch, go back, watch, go back and repeat as many times as I need to to get it.

I make masks because I am a responsible human with an impressive amount of fabric. Covid only increased my supply (collection) due to the amount of masks I make for my family. I’ve got yards of quilting cotton now. All the colors. It may be the plague but I will be damned if I don’t have fun with it.

Which leaves the weird collections. I am sure I will post more about each, but suffice to say, I have gotten away with it for so long due most of it is useful stuff. More on each as I need to discuss them. To sum it up quickly, I am an impulse shopper who then creates a need to buy crap and alas, needs to buy more stuff that I really don’t need. Yet, I can rationalize with the best of them to defend my purchases. I may be mental, but I am not an idiot. At least I don’t think I am an idiot. Did you follow that? I hope so cause that's how this brain works. I go from A,B,C to M.

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